


Miraculous Pepsicola

by BlueBloodstains



Category: Homestuck, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crossover, Humanstuck, M/M, Miracola, Miraculous Ladybug/Homestuck crossover, Miraculous Pepsicola, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-10-25 11:58:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10763811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBloodstains/pseuds/BlueBloodstains
Summary: Your name is John Egbert and you are half of the superhero duo that protects Paris. Your alter-ego's name is Breeze, and your Miraculous grants you power over Wind and Chaos. You also have a crush on your best friend, Dave Strider.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Your name is Dave Strider and you are half of the superhero duo that protects Paris. Your alter-ego's name is Turntable, and your Miraculous grants you power over Time and Order. You also have a crush on your partner, Breeze.





	1. The Cat's Meow

**Author's Note:**

> This awesome AU was created by @airshipcity on Tumblr, I'm only writing fanfiction for it.  
> The creator can be found here: http://airshipcity.tumblr.com/

Your name is John Egbert and you are about ninety-nine percent sure that your life is one of the craziest and most inane things to ever grace the somewhat self-destructive streets of Paris. Superhero business is hard work, not to mention it usually is great at getting you into completely ridiculous circumstances that would never happen to a normal person.

Good thing you aren’t a normal person, then.

Like previously stated, your name is John Egbert, a seemingly normal teenage boy making your way through  _ collège  _ while sorting through the crush you have on one Dave Strider.

Dave Strider, who is coincidentally your best friend and resident coolkid of  _ Collège Françoise Dupont.  _ You are so in homos for Dave you are honestly surprised (and so relieved) that he hasn’t figured it out yet.

And then there’s your other life as Breeze, the free-spirit superhero that fights Akumas with your partner-in-crime-fighting, Turntable.

So, yeah.

Pretty crazy if you do say so yourself.

Your attention is brought back to the present by a sharp jab in your side, and if getting physically injured had not been one of your main hobbies for the past year, you most likely would have yelped and drawn the attention of the entire class.

You wince anyway, and turn to look at your sister, Jade Harley, with a “ _ why must you do this to me?”  _ expression written upon your face. Jade frowns, then motions to Mr. Vantas at the front of the classroom (talking about triggers again. Honestly, most of the people in this room would rather face an Akuma than sit through this everyday) with a wave and a huff that obviously says,  _ “Pay attention!” _

Right. Class was still a thing.

It seemed that even superheroes were not safe from the atrocity that was schoolwork.

You takes your chin off of your palm and look down at your empty notebook paper, sighing.

You have a feeling that your social studies teacher will not be the only thing making today last forever.

**************************************************************

Your name is Dave Strider and damn, you were spending way more time than was probably socially acceptable daydreaming about your superhero partner, Breeze.

Wait.

Fuck.

Striders don't daydream, god damn it. You were not daydreaming.

“Daydreaming about Breeze again, are you?”

Rose Lalonde, your sister, fixes you with a knowing smile framed with black lipstick, and your silence answers the question for you.

“Well, maybe you should focus more on that coffee of yours before it grows colder than it already is.”

You shrug in response and  _ no you are not blushing absolutely not. _

“This shit is warmer than the Sahara desert,” you say, before taking a sip.

You immediately fight the urge to frown in disgust. It’s cold. You swallow it anyways and deadpan,

“See? I think my mouth just caught on fire.”

You two are sitting in a booth in a small cafe called Derse, purple being the obvious theme. Well, purple and crescent moons. Everything was illuminated in a different shade of purple, even the employee uniforms, coffee cups and their respective sleeves. It was your favorite cafe, and you and Rose tended to frequent it on weekdays when you just get out of school. Understandably it smelled of coffee grounds and it would be relatively chilly if not for the dark red hoodie you were currently wearing. Rose leans over towards you, eyes twinkling in amusement and elbows resting on the table.

“Is it now?”

You glare at her from beneath your shades, even though you know she can’t see it.

“Now now, no need for glaring.”

Oh.

You scowl and are about to retort when screams ring out.

Rose calmly looks out of the purple-tinted glass window and you follow, trying to get a look at the Akuma that you know will be outside.

After a few seconds, you finally catch a glimpse of it and you resist the urge to put your head in your hands and growl in exasperation.  _ What the fuck. _

It’s cats. Cats of all shapes and sizes, all different breeds and kinds are flowing out onto the street. There are so many of them that you can’t even see the street anymore.

You usher Rose into the girl’s bathroom ( _ “Goddamn it, Rose. Stay there! I know it’s a bunch of cats but fucking hell.” _ ) and dart away, flinging an excuse in her direction as you leave.

You duck into the boy's’ bathroom and Prite flies out of your hoodie, chirping in anticipation.

You open your pocket watch and tap the smooth glass inside.

“Prite, you know what to do.”

Prite gets sucked into your Miraculous, and your transformation begins.

It feels like the universe simultaneously comes to a halt, slows down and speeds up in perfect synchronization, time working together with itself in a perfect harmony of _ past, present, _ and _ future. _

Your clothes morph into your red jumpsuit and mask (with the cape), and you feel the power of time itself flowing through you.

Your metamorphosis ends, and you dash outside to face the Akuma.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your name is John Egbert and screams in Paris usually only meant one thing.

You quickly exit your house and duck into an alley, letting your multicolored harlequin Kwami, Quin, zip out of your jacket. You roll up your left sleeve to reveal your bracelet, and put two fingers on it.

“Quin, blow me away!”

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the feeling of your transformation. The wind swirls around you, whipping your usually unruly hair in a multitude of directions, and your clothes transform from your blue jacket and jeans into the blue spandex, mask and windsock you know so well. The air feels calming in a way, infinite. Powerful, and it makes you feel powerful in a way that you hadn’t ever experienced until you got your Miraculous.

The transformation ends, and you take a second to let the wind flow around you and through your fingers.

Grinning, you compel the wind to carry you up and over the many buildings blocking your path to the Akuma. You play it by ear, listening for the sounds of terror that usually came with these things.

You can’t help yourself and let out a quiet “Pchoooooooo!” as you fly through the air.

You arrive in a street close by to find Turntable already there, sprinting away from a large group of cats (???) that seem to be chasing him.

_ We’ve been through worse. _

**************************************************************

Your name is Turntable and this has to be one of the worst moments of your life. Of course, not counting the times you had to fight your close friends and family, but being chased by a bunch of rabid cats made it pretty high on the list of “ _ Shitty Experiences That Turntable Never Hopes to Experience Again _ .” 

You hear a cacophony of yowling behind you and you turn to find Breeze ( _ fuck he was cute _ ) lifting up the cats in the air with wind. The wind carries them far away, until you can’t see them anymore.

Effectively freed from their reign of terror, you stop running and instead make your way over to your partner. Breeze’s black hair is shifting in the wind that always flows around him, catching the light dazzlingly every so often. His blue eyes are bright and beautiful and you wish that you knew who he was so you could look at them forever.

You realize that you’re staring and stop. Hopefully you didn’t just have the dopiest smile on your face.

“Damn, I thought you’d never show up. Guess you just couldn’t stay away.” You wink at him. He blushes (you're counting that as a win).

"Pssh, sur-" he gets cut off by the sound of meows and yelling. 

“ _I am_ _Chatte Blanche_ , _and you_ will _respect my kittens_!” You both turn to look at _Chatte Blanche_ , and it’s obvious right away who it is, even despite her snow-white mask. Her name was Nepeta Leijon, a girl from your class. She was a good person, so it sucks to see her in this state. She seems to have white cat ears on top of her black hair that twitch and swivel to listen to every new sound around her and a white tail swishing in irritation. She wears a white turtle-necked jumpsuit (is that actual fur?) with long claws where her nails should be, holding what seems to be a mouse toy in her left hand. Even her teeth seem sharper. She turns to you, hissing.

_ “Breeze and Turntable, hand o-fur your Meowraculous and nobody has to get purr-t!” _

“No,” You see Breeze shake his head. You nod in agreement. “We’ll never give our Miraculous to you!”

Chatte Blanche yowls, and several more cats flood out onto the streets. She crouches into a pouncing position, claws at the ready. The many cats at her side join her, crouching like compressed springs. You both ready yourselves in preparation.

Breeze grabs his hammer from the pouch on his thigh and pushes the button on its hilt, extending it from pocket size into his large hammer.

You ready your turntables and create a couple clones (they are just as much you as you are) beside you, nodding at them as they appear. She grins predatorily before something heavy slams into the both of you from behind (even your other selves), knocking you onto your stomachs hard. The wind is knocked out of the both of you, and you do not appreciate the irony of that statement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your name is Breeze, and you never thought that it was possible for _ you, the master of wind,  _ to be out of breath.

Apparently you were wrong.

The thing on your back is large and heavy, and you do not doubt that it is some kind of cat. The growl you hear suggests lion, or maybe tiger. Nevertheless, you use the wind to launch whatever is on all of you in the air, and you see your assumption is correct. It was a whole pack of lions, most likely from the zoo.

A Turntable helps you up, and you quickly get back into the swing of things.

A small siamese cat jumps at you, baring its teeth, and you feel bad but you punt it out of the way with your hammer. You wince when you hear its distressed meowing. Chatte roars in fury, and she spits, “You see? Do you see what people do to cats? Cats are innocent creatures that only deserve love and a good home, but then there are people like  _ you _ -” She points at you and the Turntables angrily, “That are mean and cruel and claw-ful to them!”

“Come  _ on _ . It’s not like you’re giving us much choice.” A Turntable to your left starts talking in the middle of fighting a large tiger. "Maybe if you didn't attack us with them _ we wouldn't fight back! _ "

Chatte scowls. "This is the only way."

Cats come flooding out of the alleys around you, and it seems the felines that were chasing Turntable before have found their way back. This fight is quickly getting out of hand.

You really wish this fight wasn't happening anymore.

You lift yourself up into the air, calling on the powers of Chaos and Wind.

"Windy Thing!"

**************************************************************

Your name is Turntable and you really need to get out of there, and _ fast.  _

Breeze just activated his Miraculous ability, and if you didn't get out of dodge, you'd be sucked into the tornado that's starting to form. You quickly make it a safe distance away, and you see some of your other selves doing the same. 

You can still enjoy the view, though. 

The tornado is fully formed, now. The various felines have become ensnared in it, and you can see Chatte Blanche swirling around in it too. You can just barely catch a glimpse of Breeze inside every now and then, standing calmly inside. He even looks a little at peace. 

Then it ends, and everything comes flying out. Breeze staggers in exhaustion, and one of your other selves goes over to defend him until he was okay. 

You see most of the cats fall onto the ground, dazed, dizzy and confused, but mostly fine. 

Chatte lands somewhat close to you, and you can see that even after all of that she's trying to get up. Struggling maybe, but still trying. 

You look around first, confirming that you are the closest to her and you see your other selves nod at you in agreement. 

"Alpha Timeline!"

You feel Time flowing through you once more, but stronger this time. You stop everything around you, the cats, Breeze, even the birds in the air freeze in place. You feel your mental clock ticking down until it ends and run towards Chatte with renewed vigor. 

When you reach the cat-themed Akuma, you pry the mouse toy out of her frozen hands and quickly head towards Breeze. 

You let time unfreeze and hand the toy to your partner (he looks slightly surprised because you basically teleported in front of him, but he takes it anyways).

"Looks like it's time to purify it," Breeze murmurs. 

He rips it in half, and a white butterfly charged with green electricity flutters out of the stuffed mouse. Breeze creates a ball of wind in his hand, surrounding the Akuma with it.

The wind purifies the butterfly, ripping the electricity from the insect and Breeze lets it fly away.

Your job is not done however, as you get out your turntables and spin them. All of the damage that may have been done to the city is reversed, as you back-track time for all of Paris to just before the Akuma was created. The mouse repairs itself, and you look at your pocket watch to gauge how much time you had before you transformed back. It's now making an audible ticking sound, the hour hand on the two and the minute hand on the six. 

Two minutes and thirty seconds. You hate leaving Akuma victims without talking to them because of their amnesia, but you really have to leave before you transform. Breeze looks to be doing the same, hurrying tiredly into an alley. There's a flash of blue light and you look away, preserving your identities per his request. 

You'd love to know who he is, but you'll only willingly find out if he wants you to.

After checking to make sure there were no dead Turntables, you follow Breeze's lead, head back into Derse (making sure that no one was in it beforehand), enter the boy's bathroom once more and de-transform.

Prite zips out of your watch, enters your hoodie once more, and you head outside to make sure Rose is okay.

 


	2. Talking Without Saying Anything at All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You say goodbye with a nod and a wave that probably lasts just a bit too long, and just like that you're at home again.
> 
> You fall asleep wishing that you were still sitting on the roof of that building, talking to the boy of your dreams.
> 
> Talking without really saying anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go check out my moirail AceIrregular's stuff! It's really good and it needs more love!! They're currently writing a really awesome Fireflystuck AU, so go check it out!!! Gogogogogo!!!  
> Here's a link:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11878377/chapters/26823015

Your name is Dave Strider and it is Saturday. Glorious, amazing Saturday, which means two days of doing nothing but what you choose. You lay in your bed, light streaming through your blinds in a swiss-cheese barrage of the Sun’s rays. 

You glare at it, remembering the struggles you had with your eyes before John got you your shades.

Prite is asleep next to you, curled up in a makeshift nest of blankets, pillows and other assorted soft things. He occasionally makes a soft cooing sound in his sleep, and you can’t deny that you see the appeal of a pet. Not that he _ is  _ a pet, you can’t  _ own _ a Kwami. 

You just think that it wouldn’t be so bad.

You stay like that for a little while, listening to the sound of yours and Prite’s breathing and you feel like if you believed in good omens, you’d have a good feeling about this week. 

But you don’t believe in omens, so.

You fiddle with your pocketwatch absentmindedly, and feel yourself drifting back to sleep when you hear Prite shift and sleepily flap his wings. He stands up in his “nest”, shaking off the covers he had unconsciously nestled into and addresses you. He already seems perfectly awake, and you wonder if that’s just a Kwami thing, and if Breeze deals with the same stuff you do.

“What are you planning on doing today, Dave?” 

You wake yourself up and shrug noncommittally in his general direction, reaching over to your bedside table and slipping on your shades. Your voice is thick with sleep and drowsiness.

“M’ not sure. Didn’ really have one.” 

Prite nods. You’re not really sure what he expected.

“‘Prolly go patrol or something,” you say, and your mood  _ totally doesn’t lighten at the prospect of seeing Breeze today, shut up.  _

You sigh and sit up, stretching your back until you hear a satisfying _pop_. You kick off your covers and slowly stand up. 

Prite hops onto your shoulder as you go, and you start to search for the birdseed you have laying around. 

*********

Your name is Turntable and nothing really beats running around on the rooftops of Paris. Something about it is freeing, exhilarating. The mask you’re wearing both improves your vision, and protects your sensitive eyes from the light. It’s nice to see the world from a normal point of view for once. You use your enhanced physical prowess and show off a little, doing unnecessary spins and flips through the air as you enjoy the feeling of wind rushing past you and blood pumping through your system. 

You’re in the middle of a particularly sweet flip when you catch a glimpse of black hair and blue eyes. 

Your heart leaps into your throat and you just barely manage to save yourself from  falling over as you land. Breeze is here, asking if you’re alright (damn it you didn’t cover it up as well as you’d hoped). His eyes are wide and shining, and you think that blue might just be your favorite color. His trademark wind is flowing around him (and now you too) and his smile is probably one of God’s greatest fucking creations, right there above apple juice and shitty comics.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You smirk. “Not as fine as you though.” 

Breeze blinks, and you swear you see a bit of red creeping from under his mask. 

But then he grins, and it’s gone. 

(You’re still counting it as a win.)

“What brings you out here, Turntable?” He looks like he’s been enjoying himself just as much as you have; his chest heaving with exertion and his hair was sticking out in random directions.

Though it _ was _ usually like that, so maybe not much has changed. 

“Next you’re going to ask ‘Come here often?’ and I’m going to swoon right into your arms, Breeze.” You dramatically fan your face with your hands.

“See? Fucking  _ swoon _ .” 

Breeze laughs, and it’s perfect and melodious (at least to you) like air blowing through wind chimes. His eyes narrow, his voice lowers and he smirks. He leans forward, and you suddenly are aware of how close the two of you are (Your noses are almost touching, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck).

“So... _ Come here often? _ ” 

_ Fffffuuuck. _

That…

_ Shiiiit. _

You’re acting like a goddamn pre-teen girl with a shitty high school crush but _ damn it _ , Breeze can’t just do shit like that to you! You make a weird choking sound and you are acutely aware of the blush creeping onto your cheeks. Subtly clearing your throat, you take a moment to pull yourself together. 

Breeze is fucking _ laughing _ . He holds his stomach, curling in on himself in mid-air as he laughs hysterically. 

This fucker knows  _ exactly _ what he does to you.

(you still love him anyway)

(God you love him)

You scowl, but it isn't a very angry one.

"Are you done?"

He composes himself, but lets the occasional giggle slip.

"Yeah." Breeze clears his throat lightly, still grinning his stupidly beautiful smile. "Yeah, I'm done. Hehehe."

Breeze sobers up a little, his expression turning curious.

"So you never answered my question. Why are you out here, Turntable? It's Saturday, surely a teenage boy like yourself has something to be doing."

You shrug in response, kneeling down and hanging your feet off the edge of the roof. Breeze follows your action, joining you on the edge of the building. You look off into the distance, not particularly staring at anything of importance.

"Needed to stretch my legs I guess, you know? Get away." He nods, and you're sure that yes, he does know what you're talking about.

"Yeah. I can relate. I mean, I love my family and my friends and just my life in general, but there's just something really nice about being able to wear a mask and just... I don't know, be somebody else. Somebody that doesn't have any obligations or anything..."  
Not for the first time, you idly wonder what he's like without the protection and anonymity that his mask offers.  
He pauses thoughtfully, and his lips upturn into a gentle smile. He laughs softly.  
"That sounds kind of irresponsible, now that I think about it."

There's something inherently nice about the dialogue the two of you are sharing, gratifying and peaceful in all the right ways. It feels natural, like you've somehow known him for years and you feel like you could start finishing his sentences for him if you really wanted to.

It's weird, but not in a bad way. You end up talking for a while, but neither of you really say anything. Most of it is basically just filler, but you treasure every single word that is shared between the two of you like they're precious gems. As you talk, a few Parisians idly walk by on the sidewalk, and a couple of them take pictures of you with their phones.  
You don't mind.

The sky changes colors at what seems to be a rapid pace, even though your internal clock is always perfectly precise when you're Turntable. The Sun seems to move at the speed of sound, and before you know it it is set somewhat low into the sky and the sky is painted in a mesmerizing collage of pinks, oranges and deep reds. You wish for time to stop so you could stay in this moment forever.

But for once it does no such thing, and time ticks on without you, leaving you behind.

You finally end up parting ways when you hear your watch start to tick, and you can faintly hear the sound of what seems to be rustling leaves being swept away in the wind emanating from Breeze's bracelet. You say goodbye with a nod and a wave that probably lasts just a bit too long, and just like that you're at home again.

You fall asleep wishing that you were still sitting on the roof of that building, talking to the boy of your dreams.

Talking without really saying anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short, I have a problem with writing short chapters. It always feels like they're longer than they really are, and when I go over it once more I always end up being disappointed with the chapter's short length.


	3. Table Stickball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go check out my moirail AceIrregular's stuff! It's really good and it needs more love!! They're currently writing a really awesome Fireflystuck AU, so go check it out!!! Gogogogogo!!!  
> Here's a link:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11878377/chapters/26823015

Your name is Breeze and you really hate it when Akumas pop up on weekends. School is fine because hey, you trade some time in school for a couple bruises here and there, but on the weekend it’s just time you could be using doing something else! Jeez.

...You’re getting a little off track.

Today’s Akuma is calling himself “Itchy”, and is wearing a snazzy green suit with a round yellow mask and matching yellow hat. The hat has the number one on it inside a white circle, and the mask mirrors the hat because his eyes don’t have pupils. You only managed to catch his appearance as he introduced himself, and even that was short lived. His ensemble is only a little creepy, and it reminds you of… that one game. Table Stickball?

 

_ Yeah. That sounds right _ , you think.

 

Anyways, he’s proving to be a handful because he can move faster than should be physically possible. All you can see 100% of the time is a green blur and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t grating on your nerves. To make matters worse, Turntable has yet to show up and it’s getting pretty frustrating dealing with this guy by yourself. You are right next to the Louvre, and thankfully everyone around has evacuated (except for those risky few who wanted to watch or catch the battle on their phone cameras). You’ve got your hammer out, though your heavy, slow swings seem to only be hindering your progress in hitting the Akuma. 

 

You really hope Turntable gets here soon.

 

***********************************

 

Your name is Dave Strider and you really need to get to that Akuma. You know that’s Breeze is already on the scene, and as a result you’re getting more antsy with each passing second. You would’ve already been there by now, but Jade is keeping your ass firmly planted in this bench. You had gotten the usual alert on your phone, warning people to steer clear of the Louvre because of the fight going on. 

 

The Seine flows in front of you, and while you would (ironically) appreciate the sight any other time, you can’t spare the time now because you keep thinking about how the Akuma is fighting Breeze  _ right now  _ and you needed to get there  _ fucking ASAP. What if it was a reality bending one and Breeze is there by himself and he gets hurt and you aren’t there which is kind of ridiculous because he can take care of himself but you can’t help but worry- _

 

Jade is saying something. You should probably listen unless you want her to be mad  _ and  _ stubborn.

 

“-always disappearing whenever there is an Akuma around even though you  _ know it is dangerous!  _ Both you and John are so reckless, and one of these days it is gonna get you guys hurt!” Jade huffs. “Are you listening to me, Dave?” She’s glaring at you, and it is more intimidating than any Akuma could ever hope to be. You decide to answer.

 

“Harley. Chill. I’ll be fine,” though you do make a mental note to talk to John later because, while you know it is extremely hypocritical, he needs to stay safe. He doesn’t exactly have superpowers like you do. “I need to go check on Rose anyways, make sure she’s alright.” You start to stand up from the bench, but Jade quickly grabs your arm. “We have phones, you know! You can just text her, and you’re only proving my point!” 

 

Fuck.

 

Jade fiddles with her phone for a moment (still latched onto your arm), and then she proudly flashes her phone towards you.

 

GG: rose!! are you okay? dave wanted to disappear again and he said he was going to check on you!! :o

TT: I can assure you that I am fine, Jade. Has he managed to give you the slip?

GG: no! im keeping him here to make sure he stays safe. :D

GG: he will not get away this time!

 

You barely manage to bite back a groan, but you can’t resist rolling your eyes. You’d think nobody could tell because of your shades, but somehow Jade does and she pouts in response, putting her hands on her hips.

 

You don’t have  _ time  _ for this.

 

_...Breeze would probably appreciate the pun _ , you think.  _ Priorities _ , you forcibly remind yourself, shaking your head ever so slightly to clear your mind. You need a distraction, anything to get away and alone. 

 

Screaming erupts somewhere near you, and you silently thank any kind of deity willing to listen.  _ That’ll work. _

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Your name is Breeze and you could slap yourself. How did you not think of flying sooner? Itchy may be fast, but you’re certain that he can’t get his feet off of the ground by natural means. You’re flying as fast as you can and you can tell that he’s still much faster you at top speed, but you have the height advantage on your side. You’re stalling; you know it, he probably knows it, but can they blame you? Some backup would be greatly appreciated. 

 

The game of chase must have lasted for at least ten minutes and you’re nearing the Seine when he zooms into a building ahead of you, and you suddenly see him at the top. You know what he’s about to do, but you can’t stop on a dime after going full speed! Instead you try to change your momentum; attempting to swivel yourself in the opposite direction using the wind to help you, but you aren’t quick enough. He leaps off of the building and manages to snag your leg, and his combined weight with yours sends the both of you falling out of the air. 

 

“Aw, fuck-” you manage to yelp out in mid-fall, and then you hit the ground on your back and hiss in pain. “That’s gonna bruise tomorrow,” you quip quietly.

 

Itchy is holding you to the ground by your neck and  _ damn _ , it sucks. He’s holding your neck too tight and it’s gonna do so much more than bruise if he doesn’t let go sometime soon. He pauses for a moment, a green butterfly outlining his face, and then his hand shoots out and grips your arm with your miraculous on it. His other hand is still cutting off your airflow, and it’s  _ too tight  _ and _ you can’t fucking breathe holy shit _ . 

 

You struggle, weak from air loss; trying to pry him off of you, blowing progressively weaker and weaker winds on him, trying to reach your hammer, but to no avail. Black spots start clouding your vision. Your miraculous is almost off of your wrist and it’s finally starting to set in that  _ you might just lose your miraculous, reveal to the world your identity and possibly die from asphyxiation _ when a swift, heavy kick is delivered to Itchy’s head and he’s thrown off in surprise. 

 

You immediately cough harshly and quickly take in as much  ~~heir~~ air as you can, chest heaving and breath ragged.  _ What is with me and losing my breath,  _ you grumble in your head. _ My power is literally air! Dave would probably appreciate the irony.  _ You stop, shaking your head.

 

_ Priorities. _

 

When you are finally somewhat recovered, you look up to see Turntable. Well, one of him at least. He asks you if you’re alright and you nod slowly. He gives you a disbelieving look but offers his hand to you anyway and you take it, pulling yourself up.

 

“Thanks,” you say. He smirks and you predict what he’s about to say before he even says it.

 

“Breathless around me, huh? Can’t say I blame you,” He says, and you scoff in response. “As if! Let’s just focus on the Akuma.” You ready your hammer and he follows your lead, the stupid smirk never leaving his face. He summons his turntables and fuses them into his cool-looking (yet largely unreliable) sword, and you notice him looking at it warily. Nevertheless, the both of you charge into the fight, joining the other Turntables already at the scene (ha, because you’re… at the… Seine. Whatever, you thought it was funny). 

 

Now that there’s more fighters, Itchy is having trouble keeping up; with every Turntable he targets, there are two others to help. Some of them have swords, some don’t, but all of them are contributing in some way or another (even if the swords break after the first hit). 

 

You notice Itchy is trading blows (more like impeccably dodging all of the hits) with a pair of Turntables and you swing at his torso with your hammer. It hits, and then he’s on the ground. And then he’s in front of your face. And then there’s a punch to your nose. Fuck. He’s off again fighting another Turntable.  _ The Akuma has to be in his hat _ , you think. The problem is, how are you going to get it?

 

An idea strikes you.  _ What if… _

 

You grab a Turntable’s shoulder, and speak into his ear. “I’m about to activate the Windy Thing. When he hits the ground activate Alpha Timeline and get his hat, alright? It’s in there.” He nods in understanding, and you get to work. You sprint towards Itchy, and bait him with a “Hey Itchy! You’re so slow a snail could beat you in a foot race!” You start darting away in the air, pleased to see him chasing you. You hope the Turntable has managed to relay your instructions to the others, as you don’t want to get them caught in the crossfire of your tornado. Seeing that you're a good enough distance from the Turntables, you stop and watch with some smug amusement as he skids to a stop.

 

“Windy Thing!” You feel the air around you thrum with excitement as you start feeding it power. It feels like the energy is coming from your very soul; as if the wind surrounding you is an extension of yourself. Of course, it always felt that way when you controlled the wind but wind does not like to be controlled or ordered around. Wind liked freedom, and what you usually did, while it was effective, the wind would somewhat strain against your commands. It was subtle, but it was there.

 

Now, however, this wind was in complete sync with your wishes, and it felt like every swirling gust of wind  _ was  _ you. You could feel every burst of air somewhere deep inside of you, and you relish in it as you stand in the eye of the tornado. You can feel your energy rapidly slipping from you though, draining from you, so when the tornado dies down and you feel almost too tired to stand, you shoot up into the sky to join the Akuma that hasn’t stopped hurtling through the air. You hover in an area where he will be and reel back your hammer, holding it in two hands.

Five…

Four…

Three…

Two-

Now!

You swing down with all of your strength, catching him in the stomach. He zooms to the ground, and you can say with one-hundred-percent certainty that the hole he makes in the ground means that he will certainly feel it in the morning.

 

...You can relate.

 

There’s a strange yet familiar feeling of displacement, and you know it’s from Turntable’s use of Alpha Timeline. You quickly zip back to the ground (hovering so you don’t fall over and pass out) and a Turntable hands you the hat. You tear it in half, watching the white butterfly fly out. Holding out your hand, you surround it with a ball of frothing wind, and the green electricity that it occasionally flashes with is sucked out. You nod with satisfaction, and notice the quiet hiss emitting from your bracelet. Turntable’s watch is ticking as well, and you know today will be another one of those days where you both let the police handle the inevitable amnesiac.

 

With a nod to Turntable, you look for a hiding place to transform. You know that he can heal Paris on his own and you honestly just want to sleep forever.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Your name is John Egbert and you want to take the biggest nap in the history of naps. This happens every time you use the Windy Thing, you crash for a couple hours if you’re able. Unfortunately, today such a pleasure seems not to be in the stars for you. Your phone  _ pings!  _ and you groan. Of course, your mood is lifted somewhat when you see it’s Dave texting you. You roll over on your bed until you’re on your stomach.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 19:23 --

 

TG: egbert

EB: yes dave?

TG: you need to stop wandering off when akumas attack

TG: shits dangerous

TG: youll get yourself hurt

TG: akumas are no joke bro

 

You almost almost laugh. He’d appreciate the irony if he knew.

 

EB: dave, calm down. i’ll be fine! 

TG: you sure

EB: uh, yeah!

EB: i can take care of myself!

 

He’s being uncharacteristically serious, none of his infinitely expanding metaphors to be seen. 

 

TG: promise me dude

TG: cant have you getting hurt on us now can we

 

You frown. How are you supposed to keep this promise? Running into danger is literally your entire job description. While you appreciate the concern, it isn't exactly a promise you can keep. Wincing, you reply.

 

EB: i promise.

TG: thanks

 

The heavy mood lightens and the conversation tapers off into more mundane topics; which new cult the two of you think Rose is secretly involved with this time around, whether Mr. Vantas should stop teaching teenagers and instead start doing slam poetry for a living (im telling you dude it would be both a disaster and one of the greatest gifts to ever have been given to mankind) and how many dogs you think Jade will end up owning when she’s thirty (the collective consensus being somewhere around ten to twenty-five, with both of you leaning more towards the twenty-five). 

 

Eventually you both say your goodnights and you log off of pesterchum. You look over to see Quin, your multicolored harlequin kwami, with a suspicious smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

 

“Talking to your boooyfriend?” She sing-songs, giggling as she twirls through the air. 

 

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You shoot back, and she floats toward the stuffed bunny on your desk. “Are you sure? He got you this toy rabbit. Sounds like a human courtship ritual to me!” You’re blushing. It’s just a fact of the universe at this point, there’s no way you can lie to yourself convincingly. He had gotten you that bunny because it was authentic memorabilia for from a movie you had adored as a thirteen-year-old. 

 

You had long since realized that it wasn’t as great as you thought it was, but that didn’t mean that the rabbit had lost any sentimentality. It was something Dave had gotten you, and while you had two others kind of like it (and you felt guilty every time you thought it) you preferred this one over the others because it was from Dave. You didn’t like picking one of your friends over the others, but can anybody blame you at this point?

 

You wrinkle your nose. Jeez, you hope not.

 

“Hey.” Quin zips over to you, stopping right in front of your face. “John.” She pokes your nose. “I’m hungry.” Quin (much to your distaste) loves the sweet things your dad churns out on a daily basis, and you aren’t very sure how to feel about that. On one hand it makes your dad happy because he thinks you’re eating the things he makes, on the other hand, that means that he makes more of it and whenever he makes lunch or something else he always puts a slice of cake or a cupcake or something of a similar caliber along with it.

 

Quin’s happy though, so you  _ suppose  _ it’s okay.

 

“Why didn’t you ask when I wasn’t in my room, all comfortable in my bed?” 

 

“I wasn’t hungry then! But I am now!” Is this what teachers feel whenever a student asks to go to the bathroom after just coming back to the classroom?

 

You decide to get her something, because if you take too long you know that you’ll find some sort of intricately made prank waiting for you in the morning. Of course, if she gets bored during the night she might decide to do it anyways, so it's really a mixed bag.

 

“Alright,” you say. “What’re you in the mood for?” She thinks it over for a moment, hovering upside-down with her hand on her chin. You exit your room, knowing she'll follow you.

 

“Pie! Something with fruit.” Thankfully your dad wasn’t home right now, so she was free to be out in the open. You nod, and start down the stairs.

 

God, you bed's calling your name. You hope this is quick, because you feel like you could sleep forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA: Blues Struggles With HTML and Notices a Mistake Every Time She Posts It So She Has To Go Back and Fix It: The Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Go check out my moirail AceIrregular's stuff! It's really good and it needs more love!! They're currently writing a really awesome Fireflystuck AU, so go check it out!!! Gogogogogo!!!  
> Here's a link:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11878377/chapters/26823015


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